Stop Beating Yourself Up: How Knowing Your Personality Type Can Help You Keep a Clean Home

Living in Chicago means life moves fast—between work, commuting, and trying to enjoy everything this city has to offer, keeping your space clean can feel impossible. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by clutter or told yourself you’re just lazy, you’re not alone. But here’s the truth: you’re not broken. You just need the right system. And sometimes, the smartest hack is getting help cleaning my place so you can focus on what actually matters.

For years, I thought I was just lazy. I’d set goals to work out, get organized, and finally deep clean my apartment—but nothing ever stuck. Sound familiar? After reading The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin, I realized I wasn’t broken. I just needed to work with my brain instead of against it. Let’s break down the four tendencies and how you can use them to finally get your home under control.

What Are the Four Tendencies?

Gretchen Rubin’s framework divides people into four groups based on how they respond to expectations. There are two types: outer expectations (what others want from you) and inner expectations (what you want for yourself). Knowing your tendency changes everything, including how you approach apartment cleaning or daily tidying.

Upholders: Discipline Is Their Freedom

Upholders meet both outer and inner expectations. They love routine and almost never struggle to follow through. If you’re an upholder, keeping a cleaning schedule is easy for you. But be careful—rigidity can be a trap. Even upholders benefit from a little flexibility (and maybe fast cleaning services when life gets hectic).

Questioners: “I’ll Comply If You Convince Me Why”

Questioners only follow rules that make sense to them. If you’re a questioner, you need a good reason to clean. “Because I said so” won’t work. Instead, remind yourself that a tidy home reduces stress, saves time, and helps you think clearly. When you understand the “why,” you’ll happily schedule deep cleaning help when you need it.

Obligers: “You Can Count on Me”

Obligers are great at keeping promises to others but awful at keeping promises to themselves. If this is you, you need external accountability. Tell a friend you’re going to clean, join a co-working space for motivation, or simply schedule a cleaning service so someone is counting on you. It’s not cheating—it’s working smarter.

Rebels: “You Can’t Make Me, and Neither Can I”

Rebels resist all expectations. They need to feel that a task is part of their identity or a challenge. If you’re a rebel, don’t make a to-do list. Instead, reframe cleaning as a way to take control of your space or prove you can do it your way. Or, just let a professional home cleaning team handle it while you do something that excites you.

How to Hack Your Cleaning Routine Based on Your Type

Once you know your tendency, you can build a system that actually works. Here’s how each type can approach keeping a clean home:

For Upholders

• Set a consistent weekly cleaning schedule and stick to it.
• Use a checklist to feel the satisfaction of ticking off tasks.
• Remember: it’s okay to ask for cleaning services in Chicago when you’re swamped.

For Questioners

• Research the benefits of a clean home and keep that “why” in mind.
• Only clean what you believe actually needs cleaning.
• Use cleaning service near me searches to compare options when you need backup.

For Obligers

• Find an accountability partner—someone who expects you to clean.
• Promise a friend you’ll show them your tidy apartment by Friday.
• Outsource the work: book an appointment with a cleaner and feel the pressure to be ready for them.

For Rebels

• Frame cleaning as a challenge or a way to express your identity.
• Do it on your own terms—blast music and clean in 10-minute bursts.
• Hire a Chicago cleaning company so you can reclaim your time for things you love.

Why This Matters for Your Home in Chicago

Living in a city apartment means every square foot counts. Clutter builds fast, and stress follows. But when you understand how your brain works, you can stop fighting yourself. You don’t need to be perfect. You just need a system that fits. Whether that means a new routine or hiring someone to clean my apartment, the goal is the same: a space that feels good to come home to.

Remember, knowing your tendency isn’t about labeling yourself. It’s about freedom. Once you know what works, you can stop beating yourself up and start making real progress. And when you need a boost, a home cleaning service is always a great hack to get you back on track.

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Lazy, You’re Just Wired Differently

After years of feeling stuck, I finally realized that motivation isn’t about willpower—it’s about using the right tools. Whether you’re an upholder, questioner, obliger, or rebel, there’s a way to make cleaning work for you. And if you ever want to skip the struggle entirely, you can get your space cleaned by professionals who love this stuff.

So take the quiz, find your tendency, and start building a home that truly supports your best life. You’ve got this—and Jikas Cleaning has your back.

For most of my life, I have struggled with clutter. I’ve struggled with my weight. I’m going to work out for a half an hour. Never happens. Finances, spend way too much money, relationships, everything. I am so lazy. And I’ve heard from so many of you who also really struggle. >> My mind is cluttered, house is cluttered, >> anxious, >> and it is a mess. >> My life is cluttered, >> stressed. I feel dread. >> I don’t want to spend any time here whatsoever. >> I need to get organized. >> I knew what I was supposed to be doing. I just didn’t know how to make myself actually do it until I read the book The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin. I’ve been talking about this book for almost 10 years. The four tendencies by Gretchen Rubin. Gretchen Rubin. I really recommend using Gretchen Rubin’s technique. This transformed everything. So, after a decade of reading her book, I had the privilege of flying to New York to meet Gretchen in person. I sat in her living room and we talked about her lifechanging framework. As soon as I found out my tendency, I quadrupled my income. I hired someone to come to my home. Even though I couldn’t afford it at the time, I trusted that that’s what was going to get me to show up after reading your book >> because that person held you accountable in a new way. So, you were just so much more effective. >> That was exactly it. You can hack the system. You can have exactly the same life-changing transformation that I had when you know what your tendency is. And we have the expert herself here to go through all four of them. So listen and see if one of these really resonates with you >> depending on whether you meet or resist outer and inner expectations. That’s what makes you an upholder, a questioner, an obliger, or a rebel. >> This is the part I don’t want you to miss. Outer expectations are people who are counting on you or someone else has asked you or wants you to do something for them. Inner expectations are things you want to do for yourself. That is the difference and it’s so important that you know what works for you. Upholders are people who readily meet outer and inner expectations. They want to do what other people expect from them but their expectation for themselves are just as important. Their motto is discipline is my freedom. The first time I read the four tendencies, I was like, I wish I was an upholder. Then there are questioners. And questioners readily meet inner expectations, but they only meet an outer expectation if they think it makes sense. They’re always asking why. Their motto is, I’ll comply if you convince me why. My oldest daughter, Izzy, is a questioner. She’s great at meeting her own expectations or things she wants to do. But if I was to say, “I need you to clean your room,” it’s not really going to work. Unless I say, “I need you to clean your room because we have company coming or because it’s stressing me out to see it this way, and I know it’s going to make you feel better, too.” If I explain the why, Izzy’s always ready to do it. >> Then third is obliger. Obligers readily meet outer expectations, but they struggle to meet inner expectations. These are the people who say, “Why is it I can keep my promises to other people, but I can’t keep my promises to myself?” Their motto is, “You can count on me, and I’m counting on you to count on me.” As an obliger, if I say I’m going to the gym every morning at 9:00, I won’t do it. But if I tell my friend Anna I’m going to meet her at the gym at 9:00, you know, I’m showing up. It’s all about external accountability. And then finally, rebel. Rebels resist both outer and inner expectations. They want to do what they want to do in their own way, in their own time. Their motto is, “You can’t make me and neither can I.” Being a rebel is tough. Joe is definitely a rebel. And for them, it’s not about like making a to-do list or being told what to do. They will resist both. They need to do it for like problem solving or be the hero or do it because it’s part of their identity. It has to be more than just something that has to get done. >> So, I know your tendency. So, reveal. >> I’m an obliger. >> So, you’re in the biggest tendency. So that’s actually really good because you are constantly teaching people, working with people. Now that I realize this zooming out, even the reason I can keep my own home organized is because I started doing a little blog in the YouTube channel about it. I felt like I had to show up for someone else. That is an obliger strategy that I’ve seen many times. Like I have to model good behavior. I have to be a role model. I’m going to start a blog or have a class or do something where I people are counting on me. the idea that they’re counting on me, they’re watching me, it’s going to help me meet my expectations for myself. >> So whether it’s making myself exercise or clean the house or writing my book, I now know that I need outer accountability. When somebody says something like, “I need deadlines,” what they’re saying is, “I need accountability.” And so if somebody needs accountability, we should help them get accountability, not say to them, “Oh, I don’t need to be your babysitter. Do your own work in your own way. Come back to me when you’re finished.” Which is the kind of thing an upholder or a questionner or rebel might say. How many times have we labeled ourselves or other people as lazy or unmotivated? Like, why can’t you just do the thing that’s easy for everyone else? And that’s the real magic in the four tendencies and the clutterbug styles. It’s acknowledging that it is not one-sizefits-all, that we all work and think differently, and we need different strategies that complement our brain. I’ve also been able to really see in my husband who’s a rebel, he struggles to motivate himself, but certainly if I put an expectation on him, he will resist at all costs. And I thought, what a jerk. But it’s not about being a jerk. No. And this is one of the things I like about the four tendencies is it makes it so much less personal. It’s really like that’s just how they are. Like it might be annoying, but you but you don’t take it personally. You’re not like, “Well, does this show that you don’t love me or you don’t listen to me or you don’t care how I think?” You’re like, “No, it’s because you’re a rebel.” You’re like this all over the place. And it’s interesting that he’s rebel because rebels usually marry obligers or when they team up like at work, they usually one is a rebel, one is an obliger. So that’s a very stable pattern. >> You might be thinking the same thing I am like wish we could all be upholders. But when I asked Gretchen about this, she said, “Actually, upholders struggle too because they’re so rigid that they also aren’t perfect. This isn’t like being the best. It’s about hacking the system so all of us can get stuff done. I can behave like an upholder. If I hack the system, if I hack my obliger, I’m all about the hacks and shortcuts. You’ve got to hack the system, but you’ve got to hack the system as a rebel. You got to hack the system as a questioner. You got to hack the system as an upholder. Everybody has to figure out how to do it from their own vantage point because otherwise it it just it doesn’t work. And sometimes people act like that’s like training wheels. There’s all this like, oh, you should be have intrinsic motivation. I’m like, no. Get what you need. If you need outer accountability, that’s fine. You’re the biggest group. Tons of people need outer accountability. So, it’s not something that you need to like transcend. You can have anything you want. You just figure out the outer accountability for it. >> Gretchen changed my life. And it’s not every day that you get to meet your hero in real life. It was surreal and also kind of scary, but ultimately a dream come true. And then I did something kind of crazy. I asked if I could diagnose her clutterbug style and snoop around her house. How do you feel? Usually when I go in people’s homes, I’m like, “Can I snoop and diagnose your style?” Of course, Cass. Snoop away. This is very exciting. >> I want to explain this closet. Okay, look. And I’ll >> So, it’s a mishmash closet, right? It’s like a little bit of a lot of things, which I don’t like generally cuz I feel like that’s not good practice. No, but I >> But Easter decorations, my husband’s fishing stuff are heavy weather gear that takes up a lot of space. >> Look, there’s a basket just winter stuff. You know where things are, but nothing’s precious. >> No. And it’s not like hats in one basket, mittens in another basket. >> I want to snoop again. >> There’s no color coordination, >> but it is it is more or less organized. So, I could find if I’m looking for a book by an author, I could find it more or less. It’s a very active bookshelf. >> It feels loved. >> Yeah. Yeah. No, for me, something like a color-coded bookshelf is an apple box. This makes me so happy. >> Right. It But it’s perfectly organized. This is all our luggage. >> Yes. This is zoned, but it isn’t meticulous that you are a ladybug. You are a ladybug. And I love it. Because this is organized. And this is the thing that people don’t understand. They would look at this and think, “Oh, no. I would have to have shelving and I would have to.” >> But no, >> you don’t. >> But why? >> Just dump it in. >> I’m an organizing expert. This is amazing because if you need a suitcase or a bag, you you know exactly where it is. And that’s what organization actually is, >> right? >> If you’re a a butterfly and imagine this was your clothing, >> right? >> Butterflies actually like you green sweater is amazing. They will literally forget they own this green sweater if they can’t see it, even if it’s their favorite. >> Okay? >> So, they need to open up and see everything. So they’re not going to forget that they have underwear because they have to put underwear on. >> But you know why this is so interesting? My daughter always keeps her closet doors open. And I’m like, “Close your closet doors.” And she’ll like hang things on them so you can’t even close them because there’s stuff. But now I understand why. Because she’s like, “If I close the doors, I won’t know what I have.” Absolutely. The first thing I do when I go to a butterfly home is I take the closet doors off. My favorite part of meeting Gretch and Ruben was well, she’s a hero, but we got to work together. We got to stack our frameworks, our systems, and help Chloe and her family. We did a makeover of her apartment together, and it was incredible. If you haven’t seen this amazing video, I’m going to put a link to it in the description, and you can see exactly how it works to stack the clutterbug systems and the four tendencies together. If you are having trouble meeting expectations, I really urge you to take the four tendencies quiz because once you know whether you meet or resist outer and inner expectations, that’s going to unlock so much for you in terms of how to achieve your aims for yourself and how to communicate more effectively with other people. >> Here’s what I now know. I’m not lazy. I’m not broken. I’m just wired differently. And so are you. And when we know what works for our brain, we can kind of hack the system. We can manipulate ourselves and live the incredible life that we’re craving. Whether it is organizing your home or getting your health under control or your finances or just waking up every day and thinking, “My life is amazing.” That is what can happen when you truly know yourself and you stop beating yourself up and instead you find a system that works for your brain. Do me a favor in the comments and let me know your clutterbug style and also your tendency. I can’t wait to see how these pair up. And Gretchen and I created a matrix for you where when you know your clutterbug style and your tendency, you can match it together for a plan of exactly how to set up a home that will stay tidy and organized all the time. It is totally free. I’m going to put a link to that matrix that you can download in the description below. A link to Khloe’s makeover video. You do not want to miss it. And a link to Gretch and Rubin’s four tendency quiz. It’s amazing. Find out yours. Thank you so much. I hope you’re feeling really inspired and I’ll see you guys next time. Thank you guys so much for those of you who have stayed to the end. Maybe you’re watching this video and you’re thinking, “Cass, why you look so tired?” Listen, I love Fortnite. I’ve not really played a lot of other video games. So, when Fortnite did a new update last night, Joe and I were playing. It’s called Star Wars Droid Tycoon, I had no idea what to expect. At 9:30, Joe turned it on and started playing. I was reading. I’m going to bed early. I got a big day tomorrow. I’m filming this Gretch and Rubin video and I got a podcast. At 10:30, he’s still playing and I’m like, “Is this a good game?” And he’s like, “Not I don’t know.” Oh, I’m like, “Are you having fun? What do you do?” He’s like, “I’m not sure.” I decide to give it a try. At 11:00, my brother joins and he’s kind of walking me through it, too. At midnight, I’m still playing and realizing this is just a job. This game, you’re just building machines that make you money, and then you cash in the money to buy more machines. I’m basically working shift work at a factory here. At 1:00 in the morning, my brother’s like, “I should probably go to bed.” And I’m thinking I should too. But wait before you go, how do you win this game? And he says, “Have you never played like Roller Coaster Tycoon? There’s no winning. You just work until forever. This is just your job now.” And I’m like, “This is dumb. There’s no winning. Why are we doing this, guys?” At 2:00 in the morning, I say to Joe, “We should probably stop playing and maybe go to bed.” At 3:00 in the morning, I say, “Joe, why are we still playing this?” And he’s like, “I don’t know. This is ridiculous. Are you having fun? And I’m like, not really, but yet I CAN’T STOP. AT 4:00 in the morning, Joe, I hear him. He says he’s going to bed. He’s in the bathroom still playing. He’s now downloaded it on his iPad so he can play secretly. And I’m also under the covers playing, pretending to sleep. What? Tell me if you also have ever played a video game that is literally a job where you just you’re the role of the game is to have a nine-to-five. You’re just working whether it’s growing a garden or I don’t know selling something or building something. This is it. I’m just running a business for free. I’m not getting paid and yet I cannot stop. Make it make sense. Let me know in the comments below if why are these games so addicting when they’re not even like fun and there’s no end. That’s all I can think about right now. I want to go play. Okay, catch you guys next time. Bye.